My Journey
by slplady
Summary: Members of the CNU are left to deal after a tragedy.
1. Chapter 1

My Journey

Chapter One

Matt Flannery glanced at his cell phone. He grinned as he saw the caller ID register 'Emily'.

"Hello gorgeous! Please tell me you're calling to tell me you're on your way home."

Emily Lehman had been in Quantico for a conference on the roles and responsibilities of different agencies during crisis negotiations – compliments of Cheryl who hadn't wanted to go herself. Emily had been through four days of power point presentations and speakers who probably hadn't been involved in an actual crisis negotiation in the last decade. Four long days without Matt and lousy speakers to boot. She was more than ready to get back to LA.

Emily Lehman smiled back into the phone. She was so glad to hear his voice. Absently, she thought in the back of her mind that absence does make the heart grow fonder. Sleeping by herself all this time had not resulted in even a single restful night's sleep. She'd bet money that Matt was missing her just as much as she was him.

"Not missing me are you? I'm sure you've been living it up with Frank and Duff while I've been gone."

"I've lost every round in the kill house since you left. Frank just thinks he's that much better than me. Between you and me, he probably is. But, I pleaded that my head is just not in it…..its somewhere over on the East Coast."

"Oh come on. He actually bought that line of crap?" Emily teased as she smiled. She could easily identify with Matt's predicament.

"Well, not so much, but it sure made me feel better. Salvage the male ego and all. So you haven't said you're on your way home yet. Please tell me you're on your way home. Come on Em, I miss ya."

"I miss you too. Believe me, if I could leave now I would. But, I should be able to get out of here tomorrow afternoon. I've got reservations on the 3:00 flight out of Reagan. I should be landing at LAX at about 5:30 your time. I don't suppose you'd be willing to come and pick me up?" she grinned at the phone knowingly.

"Count on it. We'll pick up something to eat on the way back to my place. We'll see what we can do to celebrate your homecoming. Got any suggestions?" Matt asked suggestively into the phone.

"Hmm. I may have one or two. Just don't be late!"

"I wouldn't dream of it. Em," his voice dropped. "I'm glad you're comin' home. I miss you when you're not with me."

Emily's voice softened. "I've missed you too. But I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah, tomorrow. Looking forward to it."

"Me too."

"Em..."

"Yeah..."

"I love you."

"I love you, too, Matt. Goodnight."

"Lia, hey, it's Emily. I've tried to reach Matt but I couldn't get through. I needed to let him know that I'm catching an earlier flight. The 'powers that be' decided to make the second session today a question and answer session. I just decided that I'm all out of questions."

"That's great. I'm sure Matt'll be thrilled to hear it. He's been in a lousy mood since you left. He's out in the field with Cheryl right now. They're finishing up a domestic dispute situation right now. Should be back within the hour."

"Great. Tell Matt that I'm catching American Flight 612. It should be landing at LAX at 2:10. He's supposed to be picking me up."

"Got it. American 612 arriving at 2:10. I'll tell him. And, Emily? It'll be good to have you back." Lia told her friend.

"Thanks Lia. I've gotta get on the plane, so I'll have my cell off. Tell Matt I'll see him when I land."

Lia was finishing up running some final analysis on some miscellaneous phone tips that the FBI had received. The computer whiz that she was, she often had the tedious job of checking the validity of those tips that could be easily verified with the use of computer rather than an actual agent, other than herself of course.

During the course of the day, the office often had the television in the break room tuned to CNN to catch any breaking news that they may not already be privy to. As Lia walked in to get herself a Diet Coke, she happened to glance at the TV screen. What she saw, she knew she'd never forget.

The screen showed what appeared to be the wreckage of an airplane crash. The reporter came on to report that so far only six survivors had been found and taken to the nearest hospital for treatment. So far, the death toll was over 50 with much more of the wreckage to be gone through. Firefighters were on the scene, trying to put out the inferno that consumed the remains of the plane. American Flight 612 had taken off from Reagan International Airport only an hour earlier, shortly after that reporting that it was having engine trouble with two of its engines. Fifteen minutes later, they radioed that they were going to have to make an emergency landing. Although complete details are not known for certain, it appears that yet another engine had caught fire. This had led to the plane making a crash landing in Western Ohio. The tail section of the plane seemed to have broken off on impact. The center section of the plane seems to have sustained the most damage, catching fire in the crash. He reported that they would be following the story and relaying more information as they received it.

Lia Mathers stood rooted to the floor. Tears sprang to her eyes and began silently running down her cheeks. At that moment, Matt Flannery and their boss Cheryl Carrera walked into the office. Matt spotted Lia standing transfixed at the television through the open doorway.

"Hey Mathers! What's up?" he called.

He was shocked when the intelligence analyst turned around to reveal that she had tears streaming down her face. "What's wrong? What happened?" Matt asked concerned. Cheryl followed Matt into the room, concerned about her friend and colleague as well.

Lia didn't even know where to begin or what to say to Matt. She just pointed to the TV. Finally, she found her voice. "The plane…there was a problem with the engines…it crashed…" She could tell that the importance of what she was telling them was not hitting home. She had to just lay it out there for them to understand. "Emily's plane…"

Matt looked at Lia as though she were confused. "That can't be Emily's plane. Her plane hasn't even taken off yet. Here, let me call her." He refused to put any credence to her claim. Though, in the pit of his stomach, he began to feel something wasn't right.

Lia braced herself. She took a deep breath in and slowly told Matt of Emily's earlier call. "Emily called here an hour and a half ago. She couldn't get a hold of you. She called to tell you that she was catching an earlier flight…Flight 612. She was supposed to be landing at LAX at 2:10."

All eyes in the room riveted to the television providing its coverage of the horrible incident on live television. The caption clearly read 'American Flight 612 crashes'.

Matt Flannery stood rooted to his spot. He couldn't move. His body didn't seem to work. He just stared helplessly at the television screen. He actually felt numb. This couldn't be happening. This doesn't happen! "No, no, no! She can't be on there!" He scrambled for his cell phone, pressing the buttons to get her number to dial. Her voice mail picked up automatically, indicating her cell had been shut off. Matt began to feel full fledged panic begin to set in.

Cheryl Carrera was more than Emily's boss. She also considered her one of her close friends. In addition, as her former partner, Matt was also very close to her. Cheryl could feel the beginnings of tears starting to form in the corners of her eyes. She wanted to take control of the situation and see if they could come up with some concrete information before they all fell to pieces.

"Lia, I want you to see what information you can find out. Find out if she was actually on that plane, and if possible, where she would have been sitting. See if you get anything from a trace on her cell phone too. Matt, keep trying to get her on her cell phone. Try to hang in there until we know something more definite."

Matt went to the small cubicle area that he and Emily shared. He stared longingly at her red chair. After a couple of minutes, he moved from his chair to her chair, trying to feel closer to her in any way possible. He'd been calling her cell number every couple of minutes to no avail. After the first three times in which he'd left the message, 'Em, it's me. Please call me!' he didn't even bother leaving any more messages. Desperation and fear were beginning to eat at him. He was refusing to allow the possibility that Emily might be dead even enter his mind. He told himself that she'd be calling him any minute, sorry that she'd given them such a scare.

Lia returned from her computer wearing an expression that did little to inspire hope in Matt. Matt and Cheryl gathered together with Lia, Frank and Duff, who had since been brought up-to-date on the crisis at hand. The team, minus one of its crucial players. Lia began to relay what she had been able to gather.

"Based on the information that I've gathered from the airline, Emily was on that flight. She took one of the two last remaining seats on the flight. According to the ticketing information, she was seated in 16B near the middle of the plane." Lia took a deep breath, trying really hard to keep herself composed long enough to relay the rest of her dire news. "According to the preliminary information that I've been able to obtain, the greatest damage occurred in the center of the plane when the engine fires spread to the cabin. So far they have now rescued 15 people all sitting in the very rear of the plane. It looks like the very tail end of the plane broke away from the rest of the frame upon impact. They're still looking for survivors. Rescue teams are on the scene now. But, it doesn't look good, especially if she was sitting in the center of the plane."

Matt felt his legs crumble beneath him. He made no effort to stop them. Luckily, Frank was standing close by and helped to catch him as he began to sink to the floor. The four friends surrounding Matt looked at each other with similar expressions. Not only did they have to deal with the potential loss of one of their own, they were going to have to help Matt deal with the loss of the most important person in his life. Though the pair didn't go out of their way to share the developments in their relationship, meaning whether or not those three little words had actually been said, it was obvious that the negotiators shared a bond that was undeniably strong and unique. To say that they completed each other and complimented the other would not have been an exaggeration. They were as deeply in love as two people could be, it was obvious. For that reason, the four people watching Matt now began to speculate if their friend would ever be the same again after that day.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Matt didn't realize that his life could be quite as sad and miserable as it was. Somehow, Emily had gone from a co-worker, his partner, to the center of his entire life. She was his partner, to be sure, but she was so much more than that. She was his best friend, his confidant, his lover, his everything. He had hoped that she would also one day become his wife and the mother of his children. Now, all of those things were missing from his life. And he was left alone. Even after his mother's death, he couldn't recall feeling quite so alone and in such despair.

In the days following the crash, Matt felt simply numb. He didn't even know how he managed to survive those days. They all seemed to pass in a mindless blur. As though not accepting what had happened made it less real. He had argued with Cheryl that he needed to go and search for her at the crash site, that she needed him. Cheryl firmly refused, knowing that there was no way that he would be able to deal with the sight of her badly burned body.

Cheryl and Lia had worked on the funeral arrangements, as Matt had refused. He lacked closure. He just couldn't accept that he could speak with her on the phone one night and suddenly, the next day, she was no more. It just didn't seem possible. He kept waiting for some word that a mistake had been made. But, none came. The workers at the scene did recover her body, indeed very badly burned. They identified her by her seat number and the remains of her badge they were able to recover from the compartment overhead. Her remains were sent back to LA to be buried.

Initially, Emily's parents had flown to LA intending to take her body home to New York to be buried. However, after meeting Matt, they had a change of heart. Though they had heard Emily speak of Matt many times, they had not actually met him. If the shell of man he had become was any indication of how deeply he felt for their daughter, it was love beyond a shadow of a doubt. Matt sadly told her parents that he loved their daughter with all of his heart and soul. If there would have been a way that he could have traded places with her, he gladly would have. Then he shared a secret with them. He told them of his plans to ask her to marry him when she got home. He even showed them the ring. It seemed appropriate, since Emily would never actually know. He wanted her parents to realize how deeply he loved their daughter and that hopefully, she had been happy in their relationship.

The Lehmans decided that Emily would truly want to be laid to rest in LA. She would want to be close to Matt. And, more than that, they could see how desperately Matt needed her to be where he could visit with her. Never could either of her parents recall ever seeing someone more full of sorrow. He completely broke down at the funeral. Crying freely for the future that they would never have, for all that was taken from his life.

* * *

For their part, his friends just tried to be supportive of him, as well as each other. Frank especially, was a huge support for Matt. He came by to check on him almost every night in the beginning. It was during one of these visits that he stumbled on how deeply affected Matt was by the loss of Emily. Though Frank felt certain that Matt was truly in love with Emily, he never guessed the despair and hopelessness that Matt was feeling. Stopping by for a nightly check, he knocked on Matt's door. After repeated attempts at knocking led to no avail, Frank decided to use the hidden spare key to check on Matt. He knew that he must be home since his Mustang was in the driveway. Upon entering the house, he was greeted by the sight of Matt sitting on the couch. A half empty bottle of Vodka and his gun were sitting on the coffee table. Matt sat staring blankly at the gun.

It became clear to Frank that his friend had hit rock bottom. He had spent that night with his friend, talking to him, reminding him of what Emily would want him to do with his life and how disappointed she'd be if he did what he was thinking about. It was then that Matt shared with Frank that he had planned on proposing to Emily. He retrieved the ring from its drawer by his bed and showed it to his friend. For his part, Frank knew that his friend was truly in love for the first time in his life. Sadly, it had ended all too soon. As his friend, he could only support him the best he could.

Matt had already decided that he couldn't return the ring to the jewelry store. That ring was to be Emily's. If he returned it, it would end up on someone else's finger. A symbol of his love for her that would be tarnished forever and lose its meaning if he took it back. He couldn't bear to do that. He had briefly thought of burying it with her. Though, that didn't seem right either, since he'd never actually given it to her. However, in his heart, he was as in love with and dedicated to her as if they had been married for yours. He couldn't help but wonder though, if Emily knew how deeply he cared for her when she died. He fervently hoped so.

* * *

The night Frank had found Matt staring at his gun seemed to be somewhat of a turning point for Matt. He still missed Emily greatly, and no one would ever make the mistake of calling him happy, but, he did seem more resigned to the fact that she was gone. He knew that he had to find a way to move on with his life. For the time being, he was taking it one step at a time. He dreamed of her nightly. He physically felt the ache of loneliness as he sat at his desk and stared at paperwork. He hadn't negotiated a case since that fateful day months ago. He had regular visits with the Bureau psychologist, only to make Cheryl happy. He continued to be without a partner until the shrink would clear him to resume his normal duties. He was almost entirely caught up on paperwork, something that had not been the case since he started with the bureau. He was going through the motions of life, without actually living it seemed.

His friends had truly become his family over the past few months. They were closer now than they had ever been. Each looking out for all of the others, but especially Matt. They spent the Thanksgiving holiday at Cheryl's together. It never occurred to any of them that they would spend the holiday with anyone else. They needed to be together. They were thankful they had each other. Yet, Matt had difficulty feeling thankful, without Emily.

Thanksgiving only started off the holiday season. Everyone around the CNU seemed to be enjoying the proverbial goodwill that accompanies the onset of the Christmas season. Shopping, decorating, parties…they all seemed to brighten people's moods. Everyone's but Matt's that is. Frank and Duff tried to talk Matt into letting them set him up with a girl, someone that they could all go out and just hang out with at Sloan's. Matt had flatly refused each time, stating that he just wasn't ready to take that step yet. Privately, he wondered if he ever would be. Nevertheless, he thanked his friends for trying to get him to move on with his life. He knew, no matter how painful it was, that was all they were trying to do. Help him move on. Finding someone new for Matt to spend time with seemed like a good place to start to them. He didn't want them to give up on him. Hell, he needed them to keep pushing him. Maybe one day he'd be ready to take that next step.

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I know things seem bad right now, but I'll make them better...I promise!

Thanks for reading! Please review!


	3. Chapter 3

Hopefully this makes things a little better!

Chapter 3

Megan Roland wiped the top of the table that she had been waiting on. She had been serving breakfast, lunch, and supper to truckers for the past few months. Thanks to Henry and Louisa Carver, the owners of the small but popular diner, she was able to make enough money to pay her rent and utilities. Unfortunately, she hadn't been able to put very much in savings. Henry and Louisa looked after Megan, making sure that she was able to work all the hours that she wanted. They had taken her under their wing since she had shown up in their lives almost three months ago. Megan knew that the couple had taken a special interest in her and felt almost as though they were surrogate parents.

That thought made Megan briefly wonder about her own parents, who remained such a mystery to her. Actually, her whole life was a mystery to her. She remembered waking up in the hospital three months earlier, without the slightest clue of who she was or anything about her life. She was told by the hospital staff that her name was Megan Roland. The hospital had figured this out based on the seating information that had been given to them by the airline. Apparently, she had been on a flight to Los Angeles when it crashed. She'd been told that she had been lucky to have survived. The majority of the passengers that had been on the flight had not been so fortunate.

But, Megan didn't feel lucky. She felt lost and alone. No one came looking for her when news of the crash was released. No one seemed to know anything about her. All of her personal belongings and identification had been destroyed in the ensuing fire. She was adrift without anyone or anything. The only remaining thing from her past was a simple bracelet. A silver chain bracelet with a heart-shaped charm on it. On the charm the initials M and E were engraved, one on each side. She knew that the M must stand for Megan, but had no idea what the E stood for. Though it seemed silly, she felt as though the bracelet was a key to unlocking her past. Unfortunately, it seemed as though she couldn't quite find the door that the key fit into.

The only other clue she had remained locked in her dreams. She dreamed almost nightly of a man. A man with dark hair and a lazy smile. She could picture them together, spending time wrapped in each other's arms. Yet, she couldn't come up with a name, try as she might. This nagged at her. Surely, it seemed in her dreams that they were close. Why hadn't he come for her after the crash? What stopped him? Had he been on the plane too? So many questions, so few answers.

After a month in a coma, she'd awaken to the confusion that was now her life. Faced with the immediate problems of finding a place to live and a way to provide for herself, she set out looking for a job. Without any identification or idea of what skills she had, she had decided to start with the basics and stumbled on Henry and Louisa Carver at the White Diamond Diner. She'd been working there ever since. She'd found a small apartment in town, but, she spent most of her time at the diner. Henry and Louisa were really the only friends that she had made, save a few regular customers that had struck up conversations.

Now, she spent the morning of Christmas Eve wiping down tables, longing to be included in somebody's, anybody's Christmas plans. Sure, Henry and Louisa had offered for her to come spend Christmas Day with them. But, Megan knew that they were doing that out of pity for her. They felt sorry for her, plain and simple. Yet, she was grateful that they cared enough to even offer.

Megan stared off into space, thinking about her life, or the lack of one. She paid little attention to the few remaining customers in the diner or the television that always played in the background. She wondered briefly what she had been doing this time last year. Oh, how things can change in a year. She felt certain that she hadn't been waiting tables last Christmas Eve.

Megan sighed deeply and sat down at the table, grateful to take a momentary break from her duties. She glanced up at the television that was kept on in the background and saw that CNN was on. The volume was turned down as not to disturb the patrons. She glanced at the screen wondering if there was anything newsworthy other than the astronomical amount of money being spent by last-minute shoppers. A small segment about the rising cost of gas made Megan grateful she didn't have a car. She had no idea how she'd be able to afford one, though she truly did need one. She'd been walking to work most days. But, Ohio in the winter time is no place to be outside.

The next segment was a follow-up on an ongoing hostage negotiation in Chicago, Illinois. 'FBI negotiators called to the scene' the caption read. Then it changed to read 'standoff now entering 34 hours'. Absently, Megan thought to herself, "I bet Matt and I could have had it wrapped up in under 12 hours…" Suddenly, her eyes got wide, as she realized the implications of her thoughts. She remembered. Matt. She remembered him. The man in her dreams whose name she couldn't remember. In her mind's eye she saw them laughing, kissing, fighting, working, making love…together.

She glanced at her bracelet, the only thing still connecting her to her past. M and E. Not Megan, MATT! And Emily. She was Emily Lehman, Special Agent Crisis Negotiations for the FBI…it was all suddenly so clear in her mind. She had a life, she had a career, she had friends, and most of all she had a wonderful man that she was head over heels in love with. Images of the plane beginning to descend and crash began to assault her. She remembered switching seats with the young woman in the back of the plane. She'd been interested in flirting with the guy sitting next to Emily. That must have been Megan Roland. They must have identified the bodies by where they were sitting on the plane. That's how she ended up with Megan's identity. Dear God, how did things get so messed up? What must life be like for Matt? Her sudden burst of excitement was dampened by the realization that more than likely, he thought that she was dead. She could only imagine how she'd handle things if something were to happen to Matt.

Louisa Carver had been watching Megan from across the diner. She hated that the girl looked so lost and alone. She'd try to befriend her as best she could. She watched as Megan sat in the old vinyl booth and slowly wiped the table. She noticed that Megan suddenly had tears in her eyes. Concerned, she walked over to check on her young friend.

"Megan, honey, what's wrong?" asked the concerned older woman.

"Nothing," gasped Emily. "It's just…I remember, I remember everything…"

Louisa looked at her with big, surprised eyes. "Your memory is back? Girl, that's wonderful! Are you okay?" she asked, not knowing if things had just gotten much better or worse for Megan.

Emily smiled at her kindly. She had been so fortunate to have stumbled onto such wonderful, kind people. She could only imagine where she would be if she and Henry had not taken her under their wing. "I'm great, except for the fact that everyone I care about probably thinks I'm dead." She quickly told her friend what she now knew about her identity, Matt, her career, her friends and family, and what she recalled of the plane crash. The older woman smiled warmly at Emily as she listened to her story. She had had no doubts that the young woman had her life on track and was doing something positive with it. She was too thoughtful and sweet of a person not to.

Louisa patted Emily's hand as she stood. "You take a break. I'm gonna help these folks over here." Emily vaguely nodded her head, her mind spinning. So many thoughts spinning through her head, until her mind settled on one. She wanted to go home. She wanted to be home for Christmas. But, how was that possible? She sat there contemplating how to best re-enter her old life. She couldn't imagine just up and calling Matt on the phone. No, that would definitely have to be done in person.

Transportation in itself was a huge problem. She didn't have a car. A bus would take days to get her to LA. Not a problem, except that she really would love to be home for Christmas. That really only left flying. She was definitely not ready to climb back into an airplane again, though it would be the fastest way home. Regardless, she didn't have a driver's license or any identification. With all the security procedures in place, she'd never get a ticket. So, where did that leave her? Stranded in Ohio….

Unless…it might be possible to get on a private flight…She'd tackle her fear of flying if it meant getting to spend Christmas in Matt's arms. Resigned that this was her only option, she walked over to the phone and dialed a now familiar number…Cheryl's.

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Thanks for reading! Please review! 


	4. Chapter 4

Thanks to all who have reviewed. Your comments have been encouraging, which is something this first-time writer definitely appreciates! Hope you enjoy!

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Chapter 4 

SAC Cheryl Carrera sat at her desk, frowning at her coffee cup. Someone had switched her coffee to decaf again. She suspected that it was someone from HRT (rather Frank and Duff specifically) thinking they were funny. The ongoing joke in the office was that Cheryl was on caffeine overload. Granted, she was drinking close to five cups a day. But, it had been a stressful few months and coffee seemed to give her peace of mind and calm her, even if that seemed paradoxical. She contemplated retaliation against the offenders as her phone rang.

"Carrera."

"Cheryl?...it's Emily…"

Cheryl sat up straighter in her chair, the frown on her face deepening. "I'm sorry. Special Agent Emily Lehman died four months ago. Who the hell is this?!"

"Cheryl, please don't hang up. I know this is really hard to believe…I'm in Ohio. I switched seats with a woman in the rear of the airplane. A Megan Roland as it turns out. When the plane crashed, I went into a coma. When I woke up a month later, I had amnesia. I couldn't remember anything. I've been living here as Megan Roland ever since…"

Silence greeted her on the other end of the phone.

"Cheryl?"

Cheryl sat at her desk dumbfounded. Surely this wasn't possible. Mistakes of this magnitude don't get made. They had buried Emily Lehman months ago. Hadn't they?

"Cheryl, I know that this is hard. Please believe me. What can I say to convince you? I know that you love to drink coffee. I know that HRT has been switching it out for decaf on and off for close to a year. I know that you have a secret stash of chocolate covered espresso beans in your bottom desk drawer. I know that Matt is mindful of dogs…" her voice began to break at that comment. She could feel tears coming on in her throat. But, she continued, "and I know that there is nothing I want more for Christmas than to be able to see Matt and tell him that I love him." She had tears running down her cheeks now.

"Emily? My God, Emily." Cheryl gasped. "It's really you!" Cheryl felt tears welling up in her own eyes.

Emily sighed in relief that she had been able to convince her. "I need your help. I need to get back to LA. I need to see Matt in person. I don't have any identification to get a flight and I don't have a car. I'm desperate to see him, Cheryl. Can you help me?" she pleaded.

Cheryl sat back in her chair, her mind working over how she could help. "Where exactly are you?"

"South Lebanon, Ohio. Its north of Cincinnati, off of Interstate-71. I've been working here at the White Diamond Diner, waiting tables…" she trailed off.

Her mind quickly clicking away, Cheryl disregarded the fact that there would probably be repercussions for what she was about to do. She'd deal with the fallout, whatever it was, later. "How long will it take you before you're ready to go? Can you be ready in two hours?"

"Sure," Emily replied, glancing at Louisa bustling around the tables. She didn't have much in the way of belongings, so it wouldn't take her long to get ready to go. She really just needed to say a couple of goodbyes and talk with her landlord.

"Do you think you'll be okay to fly?"

"Honestly, I don't know. But, if it means seeing Matt tonight, I'm willing to try it, terrified or not." She paused. In a much smaller voice, she asked, "How is he?"

Cheryl sighed, trying to think of how to answer that question. "He was devastated, Em. He took it really hard. He's needed a lot of support, but, he's still hanging in there. I know that bringing you home will be the best gift anyone could give him."

Emily closed her eyes against the tears streaming down her face. She ached she missed him so much. "Thanks for being there for him. I feel sure that you guys have been taking care of him these past months. Thanks for being such great friends to us," she said quietly.

"That's what friends are for. Now, let me get things lined up to get you home. You'll be at the White Diamond Diner in two hours? I'll arrange for someone to pick you up and get you on a private plane back to LA. It won't be easy to do, since its Christmas Eve, but I'll get it done."

"I'll be ready. Cheryl…thanks…for everything."

"My pleasure. I can't wait to get my best team back – a Christmas present to myself."

"And Cheryl? Please don't mention anything to Matt. I want to do this in person."

"I wouldn't dream of spoiling that surprise. It'll be good to have you home, Emily."

"Thanks," she replied and broke the connection.

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Hope you enjoyed. Please review! 


	5. Chapter 5

Thanks to those who reviewed! I really appreciate it! You made me smile! Enjoy!

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Chapter 5 

Emily sat on the small private plane, clutching the armrests. She was the only passenger, other than the pilot. She tried hard not to think about the last time she had flown. Tried hard to keep the images of the crash from taking over her mind. Instead, she focused on Matt. Seeing him again. What to say to him? 'Hi honey, I'm home?' She struggled for the right words. Self-doubt began to prey on her. What if Matt was moving on with his life? What if he already had someone new? It wouldn't be the first time he had kept a relationship a secret from his friends, she was proof of that. Cheryl seemed to think he'd be happy to see her, but four months was a long time. She could hardly have expected him to put his life on hold forever. Not that she would have even wanted him to. If something happened and she died, for real, she wanted him to go on with his life. She wanted him to be happy, no matter what. Still, she hoped that he hadn't moved on quite yet. She had no idea what she would do if he no longer loved her or wanted her. He was everything to her. She didn't think she'd be able to continue to work and live in LA if they didn't resume their relationship. She reminded herself that she was hopefully worrying for nothing. Cheryl had assured her that Matt would be thrilled to see her. She hoped she was right.

* * *

Cheryl Carrera waited on the tarmac at LAX for the private jet to land and its sole passenger to disembark. It was 8:30 on Christmas Eve, and there wasn't another place she would have been. She had to see the person getting off that plane with her own eyes. She had to know for sure that the nightmare had ended. She held her breath as the small plane taxied over to where she stood beside two parked cars. 

The small plane finally came to a halt. The door slowly began to descend. Shortly after, a very pale, thin Emily Lehman appeared in the doorway. She looked tired and nervous and her eyes had a dull quality; and Cheryl thought she'd never looked so good to her. She slowly let out the breath that she had been holding. Her eyes became teary as she looked upon her friend that she had been so certain was deceased. A huge smile lit up her face as she walked towards Emily with open arms.

Emily stepped off of the plane and back into her life. Her chest felt tight with all the emotions running through her. She felt tears come to her eyes as she looked into Cheryl's welcoming face. It felt familiar, right….she felt herself for the first time in ages. The two friends embraced, both without words for their feelings.

Cheryl found her voice first. "I can't believe it's really you. You've no idea how much we've all missed you…how much _he_ misses you. He's lost without you," she said softly, looking into Emily's eyes. "That shouldn't surprise you though. You were the center of his world. More so than any of us thought. Your return will be the best present Matt ever gets. Go to him," she said, placing a set of keys in Emily's hand.

Emily looked at her questioningly.

"You'll need to get there somehow. And, as much as I would love to see how this all plays out, I think it'd be best if you did it alone. I know tomorrow's Christmas, but please call me and let me know that you guys are okay. I know you will be," Cheryl said.

"I wish I had your confidence. I'm scared to death," Emily admitted nervously. "I'm scared to go and see the man that I love more than anything. That's sad isn't it," she said self-deprecatingly.

"Perfectly understandable, given the circumstances."

"We'll call you tomorrow."

And with one last hug, the two women got into separate cars and drove off into the night.

* * *

Emily pulled into the quiet neighborhood that Matt lived in. She parked on the curb, quickly extinguishing the lights of the car and turning off the motor. Then she sat there, trying to get her courage up. After several minutes and numerous deep breaths, she finally opened her car door and began the journey to the house. She arrived at the door and raised her hand to knock. On impulse, she tried the door knob, expecting it to be locked. It wasn't. She opened the door and quietly stepped inside. She wasn't prepared for what greeted her. 

Emily could hear Matt's voice. He was talking to someone. She stepped into the kitchen, trying to make her way closer to him. Just the sound of his voice made her feel warm inside. She paused to listen when she could make out what he was saying. She wanted to be careful about just barging in and announcing her presence. Lord knows that it was going to be a shock. She listened.

"Frank offered for me to come and spend Christmas Eve with him tonight. Said he'd be glad to find someone for me to stand under the mistletoe with. Even Lia and Duff offered to let me come over and have dinner with them. Lord knows I don't want to intrude on that. It's so obvious that they want to be alone. I don't know what was up with Cheryl. She snuck out of the office in a big hurry with a huge smile on her face. Maybe she has a mystery man we don't know about, I don't know. I turned the guys down though. Truth be told, the only person I wanted to spend my Christmas with is you," Matt said softly and intimately.

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Please review! Thanks so much! 


	6. Chapter 6

Here is the next chapter. Hope you enjoy! Thanks to all who reviewed!

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Chapter 6

'_Dear God, he's moved on already. Here I am about to bust in on his private Christmas Eve with someone.'_ Tears began to well up in Emily's eyes. She moved to turn around and head back to the door.

"I miss you."

Those words had Emily stopping in her tracks. '_Who was he talking to? __Her_?'

"The guys would really think I've lost it if they knew I was sitting here talking to you. They're concerned enough already."

Emily cautiously peeked around the corner into the living room where Matt sat on the couch. The scene in front of her made her heart want to break for all the pain that she had inadvertently caused. Matt was seated on the couch, talking to her picture. Touching the picture as though he could actually feel her by doing so.

"We were supposed to be spending Christmas together…me and you."

"We still can…" Emily said softly as she stepped from around the corner where he could see her. She stood there, still, not moving. Tears began to slowly trickle down her cheeks. She waited to see what his response would be.

Matt looked up at the voice. His eyes widened. "Flannery, you'll never get back in the field if you keep hallucinating. Don't do this to yourself man," he chastised shaking his head. Yet, he couldn't look away. His eyes drank in the sight of her, as they always did when he imagined that he saw her. "How is it possible to miss someone so much that you see them all over the place?" he asked himself. Though, to be honest, the hallucinations had gotten much better. He hadn't 'seen' her in almost two months. _'Must be the holiday,'_ he thought.

Emily took a step closer. "Matt, I know this is hard…but, I am real. I've missed you sooo much."

He set the picture down and stood from the couch, hesitantly. He took one step forward. "No, you're dead." He shook his head. "I watched them bury you," he said hauntedly.

Emily closed her eyes, overwhelmed by his pain. She opened them again and spoke. "Matt, I need you to listen to me. On the airplane, I switched seats with a woman in the back of the plane. She wanted to talk with the guy I was sitting next to. So, I agreed. After the crash, I went into a coma. When I woke up a month later, everyone thought that I was Megan Roland." She watched his eyes. She could see the light of hope begin to flicker. "I couldn't remember anything when I woke up. I had amnesia. After I was discharged from the hospital I was left to start over, as Megan Roland. Matt…you have to know that I would never knowingly stay away from you. I would never knowingly put you through this." She looked at him pleadingly.

She had been slowly covering the distance between them as she spoke. Now, she stood in front of him. Tentatively, Matt raised his hand to touch her cheek. He was hesitant to let himself believe in the possibility. The moment he touched her, he gasped. He would swear he had felt a jolt of electricity when he touched her. "Em?" he asked softly.

Emily felt a wave of heat course through her body, starting in her cheek. His touch seemed to breathe life back into her. She felt her chest tighten as it swelled with emotions. "Yes," she answered tearily. "It's me." She covered his hand with her own, reveling in the contact.

"Oh my God," he managed. Tears filled his eyes as he wrapped his arms around her. He held her tightly, as if she might disappear if he let go. She gripped him just as securely, feeling at last, whole. She was home…

After several moments locked together, Matt finally pulled back to look at her. He drank in the sight of her. He ran his fingers over her face and into her hair, memorizing her features once again. "Please tell me this isn't a dream."

She smiled at him through her own tears. "It's real," she reassured him. Her own hands were busy cupping his face. She pulled him towards her to kiss him. She kissed him tenderly, full of love. But, in a matter of seconds the kiss turned to burning passion. Each hungry for the other after thinking they'd never share such a moment again. When the two finally broke apart, they were both gasping for air. Emily worked to catch her breath and smiled at him, still cupping his face, much the same as when she had poured her heart out to him in Mexico. "I love you. I need you to know that. I know what it's like not to have you in my life. I love you so much that I don't even know who I am without you. I dreamed of you every night. I could see your face, your smile. You were all I could remember from my life. I just couldn't remember your name. But the feelings, the love, it was always there, guiding me on my journey back to you."

He closed his eyes as he felt the power of her words. When she finished, he opened his eyes and looked deeply into her soul. "I love you. I can't begin to tell you how lost I've been without you. I didn't know that it was possible to feel so deeply about someone. It has haunted me thinking that you may not have known just how incredibly in love with you I am. It hurts me not to be with you. The past four months have been the worst of my life." He paused. "Thank you for coming back to me," he whispered reverently, touching his forehead to hers.

They embraced again, each reveling in the feel of the other so close. They kissed again, this time igniting a fire that wouldn't be extinguished. The passion escalated quickly, each desperate for the other. Hungrily they devoured each other's mouths, working to move southward. Matt reached down and quickly swept her up, carrying her to the bedroom that they hadn't shared in months. Need drove them. Need for each other. Need for affirmation. Need to relieve months of pain and loneliness.

They had been together countless times before. Never had their coupling been so emotionally charged. They looked into each others' eyes, each burning with intensity. They made love slowly, tenderly, wanting it to go on forever. Both were so emotionally moved that they had tears in their eyes as he moved within her. They gazed into each others' eyes until they both cried out in release.

They laid there tangled in the sheets, holding each other closely, trying to catch their breath. Matt pulled her so that she lay halfway on top of him, needing to feel her closeness. Emily smiled as she listened to his heart beat in his chest. He stroked her arm. Neither felt the need to talk, they simply wanted to enjoy the feel of the other's presence.

Eventually, Matt noticed the silver bracelet on Emily's wrist. He fingered it carefully. "I asked about this when they recovered your body. They said they couldn't find it, that it must have been lost in the crash." He had known that she would have been wearing it. She'd worn it everyday since he'd given it to her for her birthday.

"It was the only clue to my past I had, other than my dreams of you," she said, locking her fingers with his. "Unfortunately, I assumed the M stood for Megan. I was so confused trying to remember a man's name that started with E."

"When did you remember?" he inquired.

"This morning, actually. I happened to glance at CNN while I was wiping down tables and saw a report about a hostage negotiation. The reporter said that the negotiation was going into its 34th hour. In the back of my mind I thought, 'I bet Matt and I could have had them out in less than 12.' It was that simple. It just jarred everything. Suddenly I could remember moment after moment that you and I had spent together. It all came back to me."

"This morning? How did you manage to get here already?" He knew that travel on Christmas Eve, especially impromptu travel, would be a nightmare.

"Cheryl. I was desperate to see you. I wanted so badly to be here with you for Christmas. But, without a car or any real identification, transportation was a definite problem. So, I decided the only option I had if I wanted to get home before Christmas was to call Cheryl and ask for help." She smiled. "She was fantastic. She had arranged for someone to come and pick me up and deliver me to a private plane within two hours after I contacted her. I flew home and she met me at the airport a little bit ago. She even let me borrow a car to get here."

"Well that would explain the huge smile on her face today. We had no idea what was going on with her." He paused. "I can't believe you got back on an airplane again so soon," he said looking at her concerned. "You weren't nervous?"

"Terrified actually. I clutched the arm rests the whole way here. But, the thought of seeing you was a pretty powerful motivator. And that was what I wanted more than anything. It was worth it not to have to spend another night away from you," she said snuggling deeper into him.

He gripped her tighter at her words. "I'm sorry," he said softly.

She propped herself up so she could look at him. "For what?" she asked confused.

"For not finding you. For not looking hard enough. For accepting what they told me. For not knowing you were still out there. You must have thought I'd abandoned you…I'm so sorry," he said anguished.

"Don't. Don't do that. Don't even go there," she said while placing a finger to his lips. "There is no way that you could have known what happened. If the situations had been reversed, I'd have believed exactly the same thing, Matt. You had no reason not to. All that matters is that we're here together now. That you still want me. That's all that matters to me." She leaned in to kiss him softly.

"Wait." He stopped her. "What do you mean that I still want you? Did you think that I wouldn't?" he asked her, his voice filled with incredulity.

Emily sighed as she averted her eyes. "Four months is a long time, Matt. I didn't exactly expect you to wait around forever before moving on with your life. I thought that you might have been upset in the beginning, but that you may have moved on with someone else by now. Actually, I thought that you had when I heard you talking before. I was about to leave when I realized that you were actually talking to me," she admitted hesitantly. "I was terrified of coming back and finding you with someone else. I don't know if I could've handled that."

He sat up quickly in the bed, his eyes wide with shock. "You thought that I'd just get over it and move on?" he asked, clearly perplexed. "Did you honestly think I cared about you so little? Emily Lehman, I could spend a lifetime and still not get over losing you. You are the love of my life. You are the person that I want to spend my life with. The person that completes my life and makes it worthwhile." He began to stumble over the words. "When you died, I wanted to die, too. I didn't want to continue feeling the emptiness in my heart. The emptiness in my life. You were everything to me, partner, lover, best friend, all of it. And then you were gone." He stopped, unable to continue. He looked deeply into her eyes. "How can you even think that I might not want you? You're all I want…all I'll ever want…you, Em, you!" he said fervently.

She smiled at him through the tears streaming down her face. She had needed his reassurance. "Being away and alone for months does crazy things to your mind. It makes you doubt yourself and what you know to be true. I didn't mean to make you think that I doubt your feelings for me. Call it a case of self-doubt more than anything," she explained. "Thank you for loving me. Thank you for waiting for me. I love you more than I can ever tell or show you," she said, stroking his face gently. "Merry Christmas, Matt."

"Merry Christmas, Em." And with that, they began to reassure each other without words. The way that lovers have been reassuring each other for centuries.

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Thanks for reading! Please review! 


	7. Chapter 7

I hope that you've been enjoying the story so far. Here is the next installment. Thanks to all who've reviewed! Enjoy!

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Chapter 7

Matt awakened sometime after midnight to find Emily still nestled snuggly in his arms. He gazed at her, in awe of the wonderful gift that he had been given. Never had he ever been so thankful for anything. She had given him the gift of a second chance at love. It was Christmas. He wanted to be able to give her something. Something that would let her know exactly how he felt and how happy he was to have her back in his life.

His eyes fell upon the bedside table. He pulled open the drawer and saw the ring box still sitting there. 'Would she be ready for that so soon after everything?' He had thought so before she left, but now… On the other hand, Matt knew how valuable time was, and he didn't want to waste another minute of the time they had. He knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he wanted to marry her and grow old with her. He wanted that eternal connection between them. He also wanted her to feel confident and secure in his love. He'd been floored that she'd actually thought that he'd have already moved on with someone else. He needed to make sure that she had absolutely no doubts about his feelings for her or his commitment to her. He gently disentangled himself from her and grabbed the box from the drawer. He quietly made his way to the spare bedroom and went to work on her gift.

* * *

Emily felt someone pulling her closer. She reluctantly opened her eyes. She was greeted by the handsome face of the man from her dreams. He smiled down at her, pulling her tightly to him. She smiled back at him. "It wasn't a dream. I'm really here. I'm really waking up in your arms," she said in wonderment as she snuggled deeper into his arms. 

"Merry Christmas," he said huskily nuzzling his face in her hair.

"Hmmm. Merry Christmas," she replied contentedly. "This is the best gift that I could have ever gotten."

"Me too, Em, me too," he replied kissing her forehead lightly. "But, as it turns out, I actually have another gift for you."

Emily turned to look at him quizzically. "What? Matt, I just got home last night. How could you possibly have something for me? More importantly, why would you even bother?" She sat up in the bed as she continued. "Don't you know that having you and the rest of my life back is more than I could ever hope for?"

"That's good to hear, but I still want you to open your gift," he said firmly as he reached down to the floor beside the bed. She sat up beside him in the bed. He pulled up the wrapped gift and placed it in front of her. "Merry Christmas, Em."

It looked to be a typical shirt-sized box. Emily looked at it puzzled, having no idea what it might be given the obvious time constraints that he had been under. She looked back at him. He nodded to her, encouraging her to open it. Tentatively, she began to pull off the paper.

Matt watched her nervously. He was hoping that he wasn't pushing her too fast, too soon. His eyes followed her every movement.

She finally had enough paper off to be able to open the box. She looked up at Matt, who simply smiled at her. Slowly, she lifted the cardboard lid. Inside, there was a great deal of tissue paper. She began to pull it back. There, nestled in the center of the box, amongst the tissue paper, was a smaller black box. A jewelry box. Her hands stopped. Carefully, she slowly opened the small box. She caught her breath as tears began to well up in her eyes. Quickly, she turned to Matt, who had slid off the bed. He was down on one knee.

"Marry me? Spend the rest of your life with me?" he asked, taking her hand. His eyes pleaded with her.

"I don't understand." Confusion filled her eyes.

"Look, I know that this might be too fast for you. But, Em, I know what it is like not to have you in my life. I don't want to waste another minute of the time that we have together. I…" he stopped as she put her finger to his lips.

"No, that's not what I meant. Yes, I'll marry you! I'd marry you today if I could. There isn't a doubt in my mind that I want to spend the rest of my life with you," she smiled through her tears.

"Yes? Did you say yes?" he questioned eagerly. Surely he was hearing things.

"Yes!"

He leaped off the floor and threw his arms around her. His lips crashed into hers. She giggled at his enthusiasm. He was almost child-like in his excitement as he wrapped his arms around her and rained kisses down on her face.

"I can't believe you actually said yes. I thought for sure that I was going to have to try to convince you," he marveled.

"Convince me that you're the person that I'm meant to be with? No, I already know that," she said smiling.

He picked up the ring box that had fallen to the side. "Can I put this on you?" he asked solemnly.

She smiled as she nodded. "But I still don't understand," referring to her earlier comment. "…about the ring." She looked at him questioningly. "Where did it come from? I mean I only got home last night."

He paused before opening the box. He stared at the simple black box. "I bought it…for you…a couple of weeks before you went to Quantico. I just never found the right moment to give it to you. I had planned to ask you that night after you got home. But, I never got the chance…" he said sadly.

Emily felt her heart break for him once again. The pain that he had experienced was far worse than what she had endured. She had been ignorant of what she was missing. He had seen his future within his grasp only to have it ripped away. She wasn't sure that she could have survived the pain of losing him, like he did her. She marveled at the wonderful, strong man in front of her.

"I'm so sorry, Matt. So very sorry." She wrapped her arms around him, trying to offer comfort. Then she smiled, "In case you were wondering, the answer would have been yes then too."

He kissed her deeply at that. They had been blessed with a second chance, and he had every intention of making the most of it.

As they broke apart, needing air, a thought occurred to Emily. "Why did you keep it? Why didn't you just take it back after everything that happened?"

Matt thought about how to answer her for a second. Then he looked up at her as he spoke. "I bought this ring to show you and everyone else how much I love you. The fact that you died didn't change that. If I had taken the ring back, they would have sold it to someone else. I just…I just couldn't do that. I couldn't stand the thought of someone else wearing your ring. It is a symbol of our love, and nothing, not even death can change that."

Emily had tears streaming down her face by this point, in full-fledged cry mode. Matt opened the box and took out the ring. Gazing into her eyes, he carefully and reverently slipped the ring onto her finger. "I love you," he whispered.

"I love you, too," she whispered back. She pulled him into a tender embrace.

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Hope you enjoyed! It isn't quite finished yet. There will be at least two if not three more chapters. Sorry about the Christmas time frame. I'd hoped to have this written before then. Oh well! Please review! 


	8. Chapter 8

As always, thanks to those who've reviewed! You've made this first writing experience very rewarding and enjoyable!

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Chapter 8

Matt and Emily sat together on the sofa, her between his legs reclining. They were drinking hot chocolate and watching 'It's a Wonderful Life'. Both were content, enjoying the other's company. Emily smiled to herself as she caught the glint of the diamond in her ring as she set her mug on the coffee table.

"You know, I called my parents before I got on the plane in Ohio. I wanted to let them know that I was alright, but that I wasn't going to New York to see them. I told them that I absolutely had to see you first. They were surprisingly understanding. They are planning to fly out right away though. So, probably tomorrow or the next day, we'll have some visitors. You think you're ready to meet the parents?"

"Em…we've already met."

Emily leaned forward to turn around and look at him, confusion on her face evident.

"They flew out for your funeral…we talked quite a bit while they were here. Actually, I think they might even like me."

"Really? And what makes you think that?" she said jokingly, trying to lighten the conversation from talk about her funeral.

Matt paused as he remembered his talk with her parents. Slowly, he answered her. "I convinced them not to take your body back to New York. I convinced them to let you be buried here," he managed.

"Why?" she asked softly.

"I needed you here. I needed to be able to visit you. I needed to be able to be with you…however I could," he choked out. His eyes were clouding over as he remembered pleading with her parents.

Emily embraced him tightly, touched beyond words by his admission. She was incredibly moved that he had talked her parents into leaving her in LA. He must have been incredibly persuasive to have gotten them to agree. She knew that it wouldn't have been easy to have persuaded them.

As she released him she smiled and said, "At least we have a happy surprise to share with them this time," meaning the ring on her finger and their impending marriage.

Matt smiled back at her. "Yes we do, but I don't know how surprised they'll be actually," he said sheepishly.

"Why's that?"

"Well, I kinda showed them the ring when they were here before. I told them that I had planned on asking you."

Emily sat back, surprised again. "You told them? Why? And how'd they take it may I ask?" she asked biting her lip.

"I told them because I wanted them to know how serious I was about our relationship and how deeply in love with you I was. I thought that it was important that they knew that someone loved and cherished their daughter. I wanted them to know that you had been happy, at least I thought so." He paused. "I have to say they took it pretty well…must be my irresistible charm."

Emily smiled at his thoughtfulness for her parents. She leaned forward and kissed him deeply. "I love you so much."

"I love you, too."

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This chapter was a little short. But, it was a conversation that I wanted them to have. Please review! Thanks! 


	9. Chapter 9

Hope you're enjoying!

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Chapter 9

Frank joined Lia and Duff in the elevator in the parking garage. They had arrived within seconds of each other. All three had received calls from Cheryl that they were needed at the CNU. None of the three could come up with a reason for the summons, since it appeared that no one else had been called in. A situation on Christmas wouldn't have been unheard of, but generally speaking they get called directly to the scene.

"Any idea what this is about?" Frank inquired on the ride up the twentieth floor.

"Not a clue," Duff responded.

"Did she call anyone else?" Lia asked.

"I don't know. I saw Matt's car down there along with Cheryl's. That's all I saw though. I guess we'll find out soon enough," Frank responded as the doors slid open revealing that they had reached their destination.

The three friends disembarked and went looking for Cheryl. But, it wasn't Cheryl that the ran into first, it was Matt.

"Hey man! Any idea what Cheryl wants with all of us? Did she forget that today is a holiday?" Frank asked his friend.

Matt smiled at Frank. "Actually, I asked Cheryl to call you guys. I have something that I thought I ought to share with you guys."

"What? It's Christmas man!" Duff exclaimed. "This couldn't wait one more day?"

"Hold on," Lia stopped. "Is it just me or does he actually look happy? I mean…really happy."

"Actually, now that you say that, you are looking rather chipper today. Either that or you've indulged in way too much eggnog," commented Frank. "What's the reason for the sudden change? When you left yesterday, you looked like you could be Scrooge's twin. Now you look like the cat that ate the canary. What's up?" All eyes focused on Matt.

"Well…I got engaged this morning," Matt announced beaming.

Three pairs of eyes widened. "What!?!" they shouted simultaneously.

"What the hell?" Frank bellowed.

"What do mean you got engaged?" Lia wanted to know.

"Were you drunk?" Duff asked. "Did you go out and pick up some chick in a bar?"

They'd been trying for weeks to get him to go out with them, but he'd firmly refused each time. He guessed it was possible that the stress of the holiday led to him going out to get trashed. It was even possible that he could have picked someone up to go home with, though extremely unlikely given the past few months and his history with Emily. But, the idea of him proposing to someone out of the blue like that was a total surprise to all of them. Surely, he hadn't been in his right mind when he'd done this.

Before Matt could respond, Frank jumped in again.

"Tell me you didn't give this girl Lehman's ring."

All eyes turned to Matt again. No one else had known about the ring he had bought for Emily. Even Cheryl seemed surprised at the statement as she walked up behind the group. She had been in her office with Emily. Now, she joined the group interrogating Matt, leaving Emily standing back in the doorway of her office.

"You bought Lehman a ring, man?" Duff asked.

"Oh my God, you were going to propose!" Lia exclaimed sadly. Then, realizing that Matt hadn't answered Frank yet, she continued, "You didn't give this girl her ring did you?"

"Actually…I did." Matt responded with a grin on his face.

"What the hell, man! I can't believe you. What the hell is wrong with you? You don't have the nerve to propose to Lehman after all the time that you two spent together, but you go off and ask some chick you just met one night? What were you thinking?" Frank berated him. "Not only that, but you give her Emily's ring?"

Emily stood in the doorway to Cheryl's office listening to her friends. She watched the people that she missed seeing for the past months. She felt a wave of warmth pass over her and a smile cross her face as she listened to her friends. They were defending her, or at least the memory of her, and watching out for Matt, just as she knew that they would be. She thought about how incredibly lucky they were to have such caring and loyal friends in their lives.

Matt was momentarily stunned by the sudden attack from his friends. He stepped back and blinked his eyes. He raised his hands up in front of his body. "Hold on just a minute. I'll explain it to you."

"Who is she?" Duff asked the question that was forefront on all of their minds.

Matt opened his mouth up to speak, but was interrupted.

"Me," Emily said quietly from behind the group.

All eyes in the room swiveled around to see the owner of the familiar voice. The shock was evident in the faces that looked at her. With wide eyes, they stared at Emily in disbelief. It was several moments before anyone found their voice. Then, it seemed everyone was talking at once.

"What the…" Frank started.

"Lehman?" Duff questioned.

"Oh my God!" Lia exclaimed. "Is it really you?" she questioned hesitantly.

Emily nodded her head encouragingly. She could feel her eyes beginning to water with emotion.

Lia ran to her friend and embraced her tightly. The analyst was crying by now.

She had missed her best friend dearly. The shock of seeing her again was leaving it hard to even think straight. Lia's tears brought Emily's tears on. The two stood hugging each other tightly. Finally, Lia stepped back and wiped at her cheeks.

"I don't understand. We were so certain that you were dead. Where've you been? What happened to you?" she questioned.

Frank leaned forward to give Emily a hug while Lia questioned her. He kissed her cheek lightly and whispered, "we missed you" in her ear before letting her go to answer Lia's questions, which they all wanted to hear the answers to.

Emily took a deep breath before responding. She was getting quite good at this explanation. It was amazing to think of all that had happened in the past twenty four hours or so. Yesterday morning her life had been very different. Now, she stood in front of her closest friends, in the building in which she worked, knowing her true identity, and engaged to the man she loved. It was amazing when she thought of it like that.

"I'll try and give you the short version. I switched seats with someone on the back of the plane. I survived the crash, but woke up from a coma a month later with amnesia. Because the airline identified the passengers by seat, I was given Megan Roland's identity. I've been living and working in Ohio as her." She paused to give them a moment to digest that. "When I got my memory back yesterday, I called Cheryl and she helped me get back to LA. And here I am," she gestured with her hands.

"Wow." Duff uttered.

"I'll say. Really great to have you back Lehman." Frank added.

"Wait a minute!" Lia shouted, remembering their previous conversation. She whirled around to Matt, who had been standing back grinning at the scene in front of him. He knew that his friends were happy to have Emily back too, though not quite as happy as him. He could see that Lia was beginning to connect the dots. She continued, "You said you got engaged. You two got engaged!"

Both Matt and Emily smiled widely as he walked forward to pull Emily into his side. "Yes we did," he answered. He leaned down to give Emily a small kiss as if to prove a point.

"Wow!" Duff said again. He really needed to come up with something better to say, but, well…wow!

"I'll be damned. I can't believe you finally did it! I'm sorry for chewing you out earlier. I just didn't want to see you going off and doing something stupid," Frank apologized.

"No need. I appreciate you all looking out for me the past four months. I know that I haven't been the easiest to be around," Matt answered.

"Thank you guys for being there. You guys are the best friends that anyone could ask for," Emily added sincerely.

"Anytime guys, anytime," Frank responded, clapping Matt on the shoulder. Then, in an effort to lighten the mood somewhat he added, "I know it's a holiday, but surely we can find someplace open that serves drinks. We've got to celebrate Lehman's rise from the dead and Flannery's decision to finally take the plunge!" Then, as an afterthought, he continued, "seriously guys, I couldn't be happier for you. Emily, it definitely hasn't been the same without you. Now that you're back, I won't have Matt here crying in my beer anymore. Thanks for that!"

Emily smiled at Frank in return. She knew that he had been a rock for Matt these past few months. The strong HRT leader just had a difficult time letting his softer side show through. Emily would take what she could get.

"Thanks for making me sound utterly pathetic there, Frank," Matt added with a wry smile.

"No thanks necessary, man!"

Duff picked that moment to cut in. "Congrats guys! Really! And Lehman, welcome home," he said giving her a small hug.

"Thanks," the two responded in unison.

"I'm so happy for you guys," gushed Lia. "I can't believe you're actually standing here! Not only that, but you two are getting married!" She hugged both Matt and Emily this time.

Cheryl smiled as she watched her friends. She thought about what a wonderful present they had all been given. She couldn't remember the last time she had seen them all so happy. They were truly happy for Matt and Emily, truly happy to have Emily back in their lives. She felt her own eyes water as she thought to herself that the six of them weren't really friends at all. This journey that they had been on together these past months had made them a family. A family that laughs together, cries together, shares in each other's pain and sorrow, as well as in their happiness. Yes, they truly were a family. And, as she looked at the other five smiling faces, she realized that she couldn't be happier about being a part of it.

* * *

I think there may be one more part. Thanks for reading! Please review! 


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Emily glanced at Matt, who was seated on the couch beside her. He was close to falling asleep she noted. It was the day after Christmas, and her parents had flown in that afternoon. They had been eager to see their daughter with their own eyes. They were planning to spend at least a week in LA, catching up with Emily and helping her to re-establish her life again. After an emotional reunion, her parents had elected to drive to the hotel and check in. They wanted to settle in a bit and rest from the trip. This left Emily and Matt by themselves again.

She sat there watching him drift closer and closer to sleep. Her mind was spinning over the events of the past few days. It seemed so surreal. As though it had almost happened to another person, in another lifetime. But, it hadn't. It had happened to her…well, she and Megan Roland. That thought made her mind take a different turn. Her thoughts began to focus on Megan and what she knew about her, which wasn't much. She would have to see if Lia could find out any information about her family.

Suddenly, Emily felt the overpowering urge to go and visit Megan…to pay her respects to her. She had essentially died in her place. That was an overwhelming thought. She chanced a glance at Matt again, wondering if she should wake him. She could slip out by herself and go. She could leave him a note saying she would be back later. But, she quickly dismissed that idea. She knew that he'd be upset that she didn't wake him. And, she wasn't sure if she really wanted to go by herself. Besides, she knew that Matt would know where to go. She really had no idea where the grave was.

Having resolved in her mind what she wanted to do, she turned to gently rouse Matt. "Hmmm?" he asked at her gentle nudging. He lifted his heavy eyelids as he turned toward her. "What's up?"

Emily bit her lip, unsure of what his reaction would be to her plan. "I want to go to the cemetery. I just…I need to go there. I need to visit her, pay my respects, something…" she struggled. Her anxiety was clearly written on her face.

Matt's eyes clouded over with pain instantly. "Emily, are you sure that's something you want to do? I mean…" he trailed off, not knowing what exactly to say. He began again. "Em…the stone there…it has your name on it…I'm not going to lie to you, it's hard for me to go and see that place…I don't know if I can imagine what it would be like to see your own name looking back at you. Are you sure that's something you want to do?" he questioned. He wasn't sure that he was ready to go back and face the grim reminder of what the past four months had been like. It almost seemed a lifetime ago, surely not a couple of days. He sat there on the couch trying hard not to remember the months of pain and loneliness and the countless trips he had made to that very cemetery.

"Matt, I need closure. I need to put this behind me. It's just something that I need to do…I understand if you don't want to go with me though…I can go alone," she responded.

"No!" came his hurried retort. "There's no way I'm letting you go there by yourself! I just wanted to make sure that you're sure that you can handle that after everything that's happened the past couple of days," he assured her. "Besides, I'm not quite ready to let you out of my sight yet, certainly not to go to a cemetery!"

Emily lovingly rested her hands on the side of his face. "Thank you for understanding and being so supportive." She kissed him softly on the lips. "I love you more than you'll ever know."

Matt pulled her tightly into an embrace, determined to savor every moment he had with her. He knew, now, that time wasn't something that they could take for granted. Especially in light of the place they were about to visit.

* * *

Matt gripped Emily's hand tightly. She wasn't sure if it was an effort to reassure her or himself. Regardless, she returned the gesture by tightening her grip as well. They made their way through the rows of headstones, Matt silently guiding her. He seemed to know the path well, not even bothering to check the headstones nearby to ensure they were heading in the right direction. His gait began to slow until he came to a stop.

He indicated their destination was ahead with a nod of his head. Emily glanced up to see a simple, but elegant, granite headstone. It was flanked on one side by roses that appeared to have wilted. The stone read _Emily Rose Lehman 1972-2007 Beloved. _A rose was etched into the stone at the top.

Emily felt the blood rushing in her head. She felt frozen to the spot. Her name…her grave…her body was supposed to be in that grave. Surreal didn't even begin to describe what she was feeling.

Matt gave her all the time she needed. He'd visited this place countless times before, leaving flowers for her each time. He'd never been good about giving her flowers while they'd been together. He made a mental note to remember to do that now that he had been given the opportunity again. Another thing to be thankful for… He pulled her closer, reminding himself that Emily was standing beside him. The woman in the grave was not the love of his life, though it was difficult to reconcile this after so many months.

Emily tentatively approached the marker. She knelt down beside it. With timid fingers, she worked up the courage to touch the headstone, tracing the etching of her name. Her hands trembled as they continued their journey, covering all that was written. Tears trickled down her face unbidden. She made no effort to stop them. She glanced back at Matt, slightly behind and beside her. His eyes were watery as well. She turned her attention back to the stone.

"I feel guilty…" she said softly. "That should be me. I should be the one in that grave. And yet…"

"Don't say that. Don't even think it," Matt countered quickly, though more vehemently than he intended. Emily looked up at him from where she knelt. Matt struggled with the incongruous picture before him, Emily beside her headstone. "You can't feel guilty for something that you had no control over. You didn't do anything to her, Em. She asked you to switch seats and you did. I'm forever thankful for that. But, Em, guilt implies that you did something wrong…and you didn't." He knelt beside her as he spoke. He gently brushed the tears from her cheek.

"I know that what happened wasn't my fault, but part of me feels guilty that I'm here, with you. I'm alive. I have my life back. Most importantly, I have you. It seems wrong for me to be so happy when she died in my place." The anguish on her face was clearly indicative of the pain that she was feeling.

"Not in your place, Em…in your seat," Matt countered. "There is a difference." He spoke slowly, making sure that she was focused on him and what he was saying. He needed her to be able to put this behind her if they were going to be able to move forward together. "She sat in your seat, Em. That's all. It isn't as though she consciously decided to take your place, knowing that the plane would crash. She only wanted to switch seats. You could just as easily blame the airline for assigning the seats that they did. It was random, Em. She didn't die in place of you Em…she just died. It was a terrible accident, but that's what it was…an accident." He finished his monologue and searched her face for a sign that she believed him.

Emily smiled at him through her tears. She reached beside her and grabbed his hand tightly, reconnecting them again. "I know you're right. I think it will just take me some time to reconcile what happened. Just being here…in this place…makes everything so much more real." She paused as she gestured. "She's really in there…in this grave…with my name on it…I can't explain how that feels…I'm not sure exactly _how_ I'm feeling."

"I know this is difficult…really, I do," Matt said supportively. "I know that it isn't easy for me being here either…there are a lot of painful memories for me here. I visited this place a lot over the past several months, but it never got any easier. It is hard to move beyond that when your name is still on that grave," he offered thickly. He could feel his throat tightening up at the thought of what his reality had been just a few days prior.

Emily's eyes widened. An idea had struck her. They both needed closure…and they didn't seem to be finding it here in the cemetery. Or could they? Emily needed to pay respects to Megan. Matt needed to put Emily's death behind him. Emily suddenly had an idea of how they could do that.

"Matt, I want us to have a memorial service…for Megan. We'll try and contact her family and see if they want to have her body moved, but I still want us to do something for her. I think maybe that would help both of us. What do you think?" she asked with hesitant eyes.

Matt considered the idea only briefly before agreeing. "I think that's a great idea, Em. That way we can truly lay the past to rest." With that he pulled her off her knees and embraced her tightly.

* * *

Two weeks later, Matt and Emily stood together in much the same spot. This time, however, the headstone read _Megan Roland 1975-2007_. The couple was surrounded by Frank, Lia, Cheryl, Duff, and Emily's parents. A minister was there to conduct the brief service. All were present to commemorate the life of the young woman who died sitting in Emily's seat. Although all felt bad that she was gone, they all also felt the relief of knowing that they'd been given another chance for their family to continue its unique existence.

Lia had managed to track down the remaining family Megan had, a maternal grandmother. She expressed her appreciation for letting her know what had happened, but elected not to disturb Megan's final resting place.

The service did help to provide some closure, as Emily had predicted. Oddly, though it did help Emily a great deal, Matt seemed to benefit the most from the service. He couldn't even begin to describe the relief he felt now that there was no longer a headstone with Emily's name on it. It made him feel an indescribable feeling, somewhat akin to peace.

Matt pulled Emily closer to himself, as they listened to the minister's final words. The past few months had been an incredible journey for them…one that neither would ever hope to repeat. But, in the end, they were together and closer than ever. They had a deeper understanding of each other and a commitment that went beyond words. Eventually, they would be married, and hopefully have children to pass along the story of Emily's resurrection and how love conquered death and memory loss to win out in the end. For now, they would simply enjoy rediscovering the wonders of each other, no matter how mundane, and vow to each other to never take what they have for granted.

The End

* * *

Thanks for reading! This is the end of this story. Sorry that it took so long to get the final chapter up. Thanks to all who have taken the time to read, and especially to all those that have reviewed. You've made this a great experience for me!


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